The Jeno and Kai Chronicles

“You never were the best were you?” Spoke a melancholic voice from above. A man with white hair stepped forward, looking at the body of the fallen hero. “You always gloated; you always made a big deal about how awesome you were. How strong you were. You acted like a huge jerk, but deep down, you still cared about your loved ones, and even showed mercy to your opponents at times. This was just, one battle that you could never win.” He knelt down and grasped the rapier that lay beside the former hero. Holding it to the sky, his form now bathed in golden sunlight from the twilight sky, he made a pledge. “Your spirit, your hopes and dreams, your motivations, I carry them now with this sword." Turning away from his deceased friend, the warrior began his descent from the mountain peak. “I, Kai Yagami, will flow onward within the passage of time, and will fulfill your dreams, Jeno Yamamoto.”










A man with green hair stood on a mountain top, his hands in the pockets of a white longcoat, a cigarette in his mouth. “So, Kai, here we are again.” Jeno said with a smirk, as he overlooked the lands of his old home. “Oh and, you totally owe me a new sword. I can’t believe you actually broke the thing, who said you could take it anyway?”

Kai merely hid his gaze under his bamboo hat and sighed. “I didn’t know there was this whole afterlife thing, if I did, I’d have left the sword exactly where I found it.” Walking forward so that he stood beside Jeno, he took out a map. “So, you plan on taking back our homeland, well, with this map I suggest we set up a tra-“ He slowly looked to his right and noticed he was talking to a puff of dust.

Jeno had already leaped off the mountain and was sprinting down the side at full speed. “All right! The plan is, beat them until they can’t move anymore!” He laughed the entire way down, and grinned as he ended up in front of a massive wall, the enemy kingdoms defense system no doubt. “Jeez, what did they do to my home? It used to be so beautiful and now it’s so Chicago. That simply won’t do.” He pulled his right arm backwards and slammed his fist into the wall, instantly destroying it and creating a massive gap. He took a deep breath and yelled at the top of his lungs. “GOOOOOOOOOOD MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORNING!!!!!”

A guard staying awoke and yawned, hearing the shout; he spoke to the other guards. “Looks like we’re having ham for breakfast.” Leaping into the courtyard with a hundred other guards, they all aimed their weapons at Jeno. “We’re not gonna bother with the whole surrender now thing, it’s either you get the hell out, or we kill you.”

Jeno cracked his neck and stuck his tongue out at their threat. “You? Kill me? That’s a laugh, no really. I think that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day.” He appeared on the roof of a building behind them and flicked his cigarette toward them. “You can’t kill me, you’re already dead.” He said casually as the entire courtyard erupted into flames and all the guards perished along with the perfectly aligned trees. Continuing his way through the walled in citadel, Jeno stopped for a minute. “I could have sworn I’ve done something like this before, eh, doesn’t matter now.” Kicking open the door, he spotted a girl chained to a wall. Meandering in, he broke her chains and carried her firemen style. A dozen guards turned the corner and trained muskets at him. “Good lord almighty, did you not see me waste half your army?” He sighed and threw the girl into the air, before taking them all out with a blinding flash of punches and kicks. Catching the girl princess style, he ducked as a spear flew overhead. “You guys need to learn to aim; you just ruined that incredibly awesome painting. What did it ever do to you?”

Dodging spears left and right, he escaped that section of the castle and spotted Kai jogging outside, trying to catch up. He threw the girl out the window and aimed it so she landed on him. Before Kai could curse him out, Jeno ran deeper inside the workings of the whole evil lair thingy and finally made it to the throne room. Opening the door all triumphantly, he announced his arrival. “HONEY! I’M HOOOOOOOOME!” His eyes trained on the throne and he leaped into the air, spun backwards and was in a sitting position before he even touched the seat. Hitting it with a thump, he crossed his arms and put on a pair of sunglasses. “You know, I’m sure there was supposed to be a boss battle or someth-“ A giant crash. “Oh, there it is.”

“WHO DARES SET FOOT IN MY KINGDOM? I WILL CRUSH YOU!” Roared a loud booming voice that caused the room to shake.

“Oh god, is it my Ex-girlfriend? Please don’t let it be my Ex-girlfriend.” He removed his sunglasses and looked up at a giant ogre beast. “Oh shit! It is my ex-girlfriend!” He stood up and yelled back. “What more do you want!? You already stole my house and car, just leave me alone already!”

The ogre stared at him with blank eyes before roaring again. “SO YOU’RE THE DICK WHO DUMPED MY SISTER!”

“….Fuck.”

“WAKE THE HELL UP!” A voice bellowed, rousing Jeno out of his slumber in the throne. He looked up to view a giant of a man, but still a man. “GET OUT OF MY KINGDOM THIS INSTANT!”

“How about no?” Jeno said, his head resting on his right hand. “How about I don’t, and say I did?”

“DO YOU WISH TO TRY MY PATIENC-“ The giants eyes watered up after Jeno had slammed a gigantic hammer into his man-jewels. He fell over with a crash, unable to move.

“The bigger they are, the more they hurt.” Jeno spoke before yawning and exiting the room, having successfully reclaimed his homeland. Stepping outside, he found Kai talking with the girl, before both the girl and Kai kicked him in the face for being such a prick. “I deserved that one.” He said quietly as he fell backwards.